


Words That I Have Never Said

by NightfireRed



Category: Hollywood Undead (Band)
Genre: AU, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Swearing, emotional misunderstanding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-16
Updated: 2015-04-16
Packaged: 2018-03-23 05:14:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3755740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NightfireRed/pseuds/NightfireRed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>HU AU in which Jorel and Dylan are the best friends sharing house; they have to come through lots of emotional twisted stuff. But they have each other`s friendship and it makes things less tough. (Sorry, I suck at summaries)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Words That I Have Never Said

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there! So this work may be kind of lame, but the idea has been buzzing in my mind for weeks. I really had to write it down. As usual it is unbeta`d and may contain mistakes. Enjoy :)

Dylan is a good friend. Wait, not just good. He`s the best freaking friend you can ever imagine. And it`s no one else`s but his mission to save Jorel from the slowly creeping depression. Never minding the fact that Jay denies everything and smiles through sadness in his eyes, the task is not a piece of cake.

It`s been a month already since Danny left. As much as Dylan knows they were just really close friends. So close that sometimes Dylan felt perceptible pinches of jealousy. Because hey, he and Jay share the house, have been the best buddies since high school and always have each other`s backs. And unexpectedly like a hurricane in Jorel`s life appeared Danny. Things have changed since then. In less than six months they emotionally attached to each other and started spending more time together than apart. Anyone would feel a bit abandoned after that, right?

But Danny`s sudden moving to Las Vegas has hit Jorel dramatically more than break up with his ex, Aron. Even a thought about this douche makes Dylan`s blood boil with rage. He treated Jay like dirt, cheated on him; they fought almost every week. It is a miracle that even after all those disrespect and hurt Jay claims he loved Aron more than life and moreover defends him.  
This time things are more complicated. Jay used to scream, get wasted or just cry himself to sleep when something bad occurred. But now he refuses to acknowledge his feelings and that anything has happened at all. He`s turned from an extrovert partly to introvert. It scares even more. For the first time Dylan doesn`t know what his best friend feels. Lots of years have passed, they became like brothers and always knew what`s on each other`s mind. Now this bond seems to disappear. All that left to Dylan is looking at how day by day Jorel makes steps on the way to complete emotionless.   
-“Alright, man. Come on. Time to hang out a bit. It`s been ages since we last had a proper quality time together,” Dylan flops on the couch near Jorel who glued his eyes to the TV screen.   
-“Any worthy plan in mind?” Jay quickly glances at his friend and stiffens a yawn.  
-“Yup,” Dylan stands in front of Jay switching some scientific show off. “You. Me. Bar. Consider yourself my date for tonight! Dude, come oooon,” he grabs Jorel`s hands and pulls him upwards. Jay reluctantly stands up.   
-“No point in objecting, I guess?”   
Dylan vigorously nods and lightly pushes Jay towards the stairs leading to bedrooms.   
-“Dress up in something fancy. We are going to have fun!” Dylan is happy to see the tiny sparkle of excitement in green eyes of his best friend. At last.

“_”_”_”_”_”_”_”_”_”_”_”_”

So far things are going well.  
Jorel confesses to Dylan after the fourth shot that crowded places seem to somehow calm him down. Not like he`s afraid of staying alone; it`s more like he`s scared of being one on one with his own thoughts.   
Well, frankly saying, who isn’t?   
Dylan is proud of the job he`s done. Jay idly talks about this and that and looks like the weight of the whole world isn`t on his shoulders anymore. Even if good old Jay is back for this night only, it`s still a huge progress.   
-“Pretty sweet looking bottle of whiskey should join us tonight, how do you think?” says the Mexican nodding towards the bar counter. At that they both knowingly smirk.   
-“No need to shove bills at my face, Dylan. I`m not blind unlike you. I`ve got a customer here,” says the bartender and keeps on mixing some concoction. “Besides, the fact you`re the lodger here doesn`t give you the privilege to avoid lines.”  
-“Why so angry, Charles?” teases Dylan and gets annoyed glare.  
The bartender (who is also Dylan`s friend) places the drink in front of the ridiculously good looking guy and returns the change. Then turns to Dylan and sighs, tiredly rubbing eyes.  
-“Sorry, man. It`s just… I`m exhausted. Johnny thinks he`s the only one has family and private life. Had to cover today for him. Again. 3 night shifts in a row is draining,” Charlie opens the bottle of Jack and then continues: “Anniversary with Asia is important, of course, but Johnny doesn`t give a damn crap about me being probably fired from the studio day job. I`m always late mainly because of him and my kindness. Randi doesn`t share my attitude though.”  
-“Why don`t you just say no? Johnny may be the boss here but he`s your friend and definitely not senseless. He`s got the soft spot for you. Try to talk to him,” Dylan pays for the booze and sympathetically smiles to Charlie: “Thanks, man. See you!”  
-“If only things were as easy as you always say... Have fun tonight!”

Just as Dylan turns around to go back to Jay, he notices that handsome guy at the bar counter keeps on casting quick glances at him. When he realizes his cover is blown he quickly averts gaze and stares at the notepad lying on the countertop. Slight blush creeps on his cheeks.   
Dylan is too intrigued to step off now and can`t help his immense curiosity.

-“Hey, what`s up?” Dylan comes closer to the guy brightly smiling.   
-“Hey,” the guy abruptly closes the notepad and folds hands on it.  
-“Can I take a look?” asks Dylan nodding at the sketchbook. He`s always kind of straightforward but when something catches his attention – nothing can stop him.  
-“You really don`t wanna do that.”   
-“You still won`t let me even if I buy you a drink, lovely?” Dylan wants to punch himself for this cheap pick up line. But he can`t help it.   
-“Well…” The guy muses, looks at his still half-filled glass and then quietly continues: “I can do that if you say your name instead.”  
Dylan light heartedly laughs and finally looks at the guy in front of him more focused. 

Oh hell, he`s hot. 

The Mexican doesn`t know where to stop his glance on; whether on the wild dark curls which just scream to be ruffled even more, or mischievous dark eyes or tattoos covering his skin or…

-“Hey, you still with us?” The guy snaps his fingers and raises his brow; amused look on his handsome face.   
-“Oh, yeah. Sure. Sorry. I`m Dylan.”  
-“Matt,” he shakes Dylan`s hand lightly. Cold fingers lightly brush his wrist. “So, as promised…” Matt slowly pushes the notepad closer to Dylan.

While enchanted Dylan flips through amazingly made sketches Matt nervously bites his lower lip and sips his drink. Dylan is so involved that doesn`t notice how Charlie takes the whiskey bottle away and passes it to Jay who has moved closer to the bar counter and now shares conversation with the bartender. Apparently Charlie is now spilling all his problems to Jorel. Everyone seems content.   
-“About the last one… It`s not finished yet, so…no point in looking, I guess?”   
But Dylan doesn`t obey and turns the last page over. The drawing really seems unfinished, just quick lines marking the main features out, but some details look very clear. Details like tattoos on man`s hands which patterns look pretty familiar…Wait!  
-“You drew me? Wow, man. It`s…cool. No, it`s awesome! You are so talented,” Dylan traces the picture with fingertips.   
-“Thanks…Wish my previous boss could hear you now,” Matt says shyly.  
-“Why?”  
-“Well, you have quite the opposite opinions on my works. Long story short – I`m a freelancer now.”  
-“Oh, crap…sorry…”  
-“Yeah…” Matt finishes his drink and puts the sketchbook in the backpack. “You better switch attention back to your friend. Sorry not sorry for taking your time. It was nice to meet you, Dylan,” curly guy smiles.  
-“Thank you for the talk and the drawing and just… Great to meet you, too, Matt,” Dylan watches Matt leaving but then decides to catch up with him near the exit. “Wait! I just thought… Wanna meet some time again? I`m not pushing, just… asking?”   
Matt looks a bit surprised but regains his composure quickly. “Why not? I`m new in town, show me the hood some time. Deal?”

-“Dude, you shine like a Christmas tree. If not brighter. Someone got a new crush?” hears Dylan Jay`s mocking words.   
-“Back off, man. The fact I got attractive guy`s number means nothing. It happens all the time. Anyway, ready to hit some nightclub?” Dylan asks wrapping hands around Jay`s shoulders.  
-“I was ready half an hour ago actually, pickup master,” Jay winks.

Charlie waves his friends goodbye and almost rolls his eyes at the sight of approaching group of barely legal girls with irritating giggling. 

This night`s going to be long.

“_”_”_”_”_”_”_”_”_”_”_”_”

-“If I told him the truth, would he have stayed?” Jorel places his pounding head on Dylan`s shoulder and sips water from a bottle.   
The first rays of red and pink start peeking from the horizon line; Jay and Dylan calmly marvel the view of the morning city from some hill in the suburbs of LA. Deafening music and blinding lights of the nightclub still thump in their heads.   
-“Uhhhm, by him you mean Danny?” Dylan leans back to the wooden bench stretching tired legs.  
-“He`s the only one I know who`s moved lately, so yeah.”  
-“The truth he shouldn`t have left his job at the motor shop and tried chasing the dream of starting his own band? If yes, you`re a crappy friend, Decker,” for this words Dylan receives painful elbow shove to ribs from Jay.  
-“There`s more than that. Dunno where to start.”  
-“You wanna talk about that? Doctor Alvarez is ready to see you now,” Dylan desperately tries not to cross the line and scare Jay away from the serious conversation he`s been trying to start for the last month.  
-“You know you`re a dork, right?” Jay grins.  
-“Your one and only favorite dork, by the way.”  
They sit like that couple of minutes more sharing the comforting silence until Jay almost whispers so quietly Dylan thinks he misheard it.  
-“I love him.”  
-“You what?”   
-“Love. Him… Danny.”  
Dylan is not ready for this information; his brain refuses to comprehend things. Then it all suddenly becomes very clear.  
-“Wait, this bastard broke your heart and just ran away to Vegas? Shit, he doesn’t look like the type. That`s why you`ve been so gloomy lately? This dude is dead, man. I`ll find him wherever he`s now and…”  
-“Dylan, stop,” Jay interrupts his friend`s babbling. “It`s not him, it`s me, okay? I chickened out and didn`t say him what I fucking feel even though I knew that that night was his last in LA. I punished myself and now every day I think “what if”… I was fucking scared to confess because I thought I read things wrong and now… I fucked things up,” sadly explains Jay.  
-“And we live apparently in 19th century and have no internet or cells.”  
-“You think I`m completely dumb? He`s changed his number ages ago. And you know he`s not the fan of social media crap,” snaps frustrated Jay. Tears gather in the corners of his green eyes; he`s been having this inner struggle and tangled ball of emotions for way too long, now he can`t stop it bursting. “Besides, if he wanted to reach me he`d already have called himself,” Jay`s voice is slightly uneven because of stiffened sobs. “Fuck this. Was the last time I let people turn me into emotional mess. I`m done…”  
-“It`s going to be better someday. It has to…” Dylan doesn’t know what else to say. Inside he`s satisfied because finally he`s managed to break Jay`s emotional wall, but he also understands it makes him not a good person. His bro needs comfort and instead he feels overjoyed.   
Oh, why people are so complicated?

“_”_”_”_”_”_”_”_”_”_”_”_”

Nevertheless life goes on and on and on.   
They go to work, occasionally throw parties or just chill at the bar. Dylan keeps on endlessly chattering about Matt. They spend time together more and more but affection expressions stop on simple cuddling. Dylan can`t give certain answers to Jay`s questions on whether they are planning to go further at all or is it just a bromance. “Maybe you just need to stop dancing around each other and finally go on a proper date?” says Jorel one day. At that Dylan shrugs and mumbles something about Matt being special and that he doesn`t want to mess what they have up.

Dylan is so involved in this new uncertain relations with curly Matt that doesn`t notice that some nights Jay just disappears or doesn`t come back at home after work at all. Jorel doesn’t react to Dylan`s questionable looks in the morning simply stating that everything`s completely awesome. Dylan doesn`t want to push this topic further. He has to stop patronizing his friend, they all are grown ups after all, but the memories of Jay`s depression are too fresh in his mind.  
It keeps on going like that until one morning Dylan comes across Aron casually leaning on his car parked near his and Jorel`s home. Crap.  
-“Save your breath, Dylan. I know how “happy” you are to see me but we need to talk.”  
Moments later they casually sit in the kitchen drinking coffee like the huge fight between them never occurred at all.  
-“What shit is happening in Jay`s life right now? You guys don`t talk or something?” calmly asks Aron slowly sipping steaming hot black liquid.   
Dylan frowns and shakes his head lightly: “No, why?”  
Aron smirks and keeps silence for a moment before answering: “Well, two weeks ago I found him at my apartment, wasted as fuck peacefully sleeping on my bed. Never thought he still had my keys, to be honest. I thought it was fun at some point, because, well, after all we had, seeing him at mine again was…” Aron muses a bit and then keeps on talking: “Never mind…So three days passed since that incident when he came to my home again, sober that time, and… we fucked. Never seen him so persistent. His visits just kept on going, he explained nothing. I don`t wanna say I don`t enjoy his company but all we left now is occasional one night stands and… call it freaking karma but I feel used. Besides, I`m seeing someone now, I told him about it but he just said it doesn`t count because we used to date and stuff…”  
-“All that time he spent with you then? From all people it has to be…you? Aron… holy fuck, you keep on cheating to your new date with someone you cheated on before. This is disgusting and fucked up. It`s… fucking wrong, man…” Dylan looks lost and astonished though mad at the same time. “He`s at yours now then?”  
Aron nods and says quieter this time: “Talk to him. I`m hurt. He`s hurt. Don`t want him to suffer even more because of me. I`ve been doing this long enough. I ask you because I can`t say no to him. Just fucking can`t. He`s too screwed up emotionally, random fucks won`t help there,” Aron finishes his coffee and leaves without goodbye.

The house suddenly is so deafeningly silent.

Dylan throws the cup Aron been drinking from to the wall; it smashes to pieces brightly sparkling in the morning sun. 

“_”_”_”_”_”_”_”_”_”_”_”_”

-“It`s nothing to talk about. My personal life is none of your business, okay? I`m done that fucking everyone around keep on telling me how to live. I`m done with it!” Jay snaps. He`s had crazy day at work which sucked even more than usually. The talk off from his best friend doesn`t make things better.   
-“Oh, excuse me, Jorel Decker, you think you`re the one so hurt and suffering in here? Your mindless behavior influences me, too. I fucking care about your ungrateful ass and all you do is screaming at me for no reason. And apparently the thought that I`m hurt too doesn`t come across your egocentric mind. You just… just… Jorel have you ever thought that it`s all about you? You pretend being so insulted and vulnerable while just keeping on telling people who truly care to fuck the hell off!”  
-“Seriously now, Dylan? And haven`t YOU thought that I ain`t no need anyone`s pity? That I need space, huh? You all are too pushy while you don`t have a fucking clue what I feel!” Jay breathes heavily, his forehead covered in sheer of sweat.   
-“We`re running in circles now. You don`t let people a chance to get this “fucking clue”. You`re not a teen anymore, so stop running away, be a man and face your problems. Admit there are loads of them.”  
-“Didn`t expect to hear it from you. You`re supposed to be on my side, but it seems you`re just like others…don`t understand…”  
Dylan`s hands are balled in fists; knuckles white; marks on the palms from digging fingernails. “You know what, Jorel. Fuck. You,” Dylan throws his jacket on, grabs keys from his car and leaves, smashing the door shut.  
-“Dylan!” Jorel didn`t plan this evening to end like this.  
-“Fix your problems alone if you like. I`m giving you carte blanche as you craved,” that are the last words Jay hears from his best friend and bro for the next three days. 

“_”_”_”_”_”_”_”_”_”_”_”_”

These three days are complete nightmare. Jorel feels so helpless and lonely that huge amounts of booze are helpless. He realizes he has not so many close friends to share thoughts with. He desperately needs to spill emotions out before their buzzing inside have crushed him completely.   
That`s how Jorel finds himself sitting at the store room of the bar clenching to the glass of water and trying to calm down after crying for 20 minutes straight. Johnny`s hands soothingly circling Jay`s back.   
-“It`s no one`s fault. You all overreacted and just didn`t listen to each other. He`s your soulmate, your bro. Once you talk – things will get better. He`ll understand…But you need to listen to him too. He cares about you. We all do.”  
-“Yeah, Johnny`s right. You have to listen to each other. And tell everything you said now to Dylan,” Charlie enters the room and flops on the couch by Jay`s side holding a new pack of paper tissues.   
-“You guys are so great...Thanks. Thanks for tolerating my pitiful ass,” Jorel sniffs and wipes his now bloodshot eyes.   
-“Well, as we made one step closer to making it up… how about huuuge hugs?” Charlie tightly wraps his hands around Jay while Johnny makes the same from the other side.   
-“For tonight our cute cuddly teddy bear is you and not Charlie, as usually happens,” chuckles Johnny. Charlie just scoffs and intertwines fingers with his.

“_”_”_”_”_”_”_”_”_”_”_”_”

Jay`s head is heavy and pounding as hell. He has to make several calls and take work at home. He`s no help today anyway. His reflection shows the guy with puffy red eyes, ruffled hair and dark circles under now dull green eyes. He`s disgusted with himself, though he is ready to admit that sharing the feelings with Charlie and Johnny made him feeling less shitty.   
After noon Jay hears gentle knocking at the entrance door.   
Weird. Dylan`s got the keys.

But instead the Mexican he sees Matt. 

Oh, that is unexpected. 

Dylan is nowhere to be seen.

-“Hey, Jorel,” Matt unsurely smiles.  
-“What`s up, Matt?” Jay confusedly asks and steps back letting the curly guy in.  
-“Have a minute? It`s about Dylan…”  
Jorel stiffens and reluctantly nods. He is not sure if he`s ready for whatever he`s about to hear.  
-“He cares about you so much that it is hurting both of you… He didn`t say anything related to the reason you had a fight though,” Matt deeply sighs.  
-“So you came to find it out?” this whole situation makes no sense to Jay.  
-“No…not at all,” Matt looks Jay in the eye. “He cried, Jorel. Never seen him so defeated. We`ve been talking, like, really a lot lately. He`s afraid he misses something important. Something he could prevent. You know, he`s blaming himself for not being persistent and strong enough to drag you from your current state from the very beginning,” Matt suddenly looks so sad Jorel feels a pinch of guilt towards the guy. He`s just a civilian in this battle.  
-“I know I fucked up immensely. So immensely I`m not sure Dylan will ever forgive it. He`s right. I was too pitiful, considered myself being so trashy. I was fucking terrified to confess even to myself that I did need a help. I was scared to look miserable in people`s eyes. And in this depressed state I pushed all the dearest people away. Including Dylan. Including the guy I love. But he`s gone now, nothing can be done about it. But I still can try to fix stuff with Dylan, I hope…” Jay doesn`t notice he start whispering words.  
-“Tell everything you`ve said now to Dylan tonight, okay?” Matt briefly hugs Jay and quietly adds: “It`s okay to ask for help… It proves you`re strong enough to admit that there`s an issue you need to fix…And don`t be so arrogant next time. I said the same to Dylan the other day.”  
-“He`s freaking lucky to have such an angel like you, you know?” whispers Jay hugging Matt back. 

It`s time. Time for Jorel to fight back his life. With a little help of others.

Of course, the second Dylan crosses the doorstep of the house he is involved into tight warm embrace of Jay. They talk and talk and talk through all night long. And apologizes follow after every sentence.  
Dylan`s conjectures about Danny`s leaving to be the last and the main drop in reasons for Jay`s breakdown are confirmed. Jorel is happy to hear Dylan has finally found someone not only for one night: “He`s freaking amazing, man. We`re so different yet we think alike. And I don`t wanna rush things with him. For the first time. I`m content just being close to him. We`ll see what happens next…Oh, did I mention he got the job at the tattoo studio with Charlie? Cool enough, isn`t it?”   
Jorel is happy to hear his best friend`s cheerful chattering. His mind drifts somewhere far away. Ever since breakup with Aron he`s been considering that happiness is somewhere else and ignored the obvious – the true happiness has always been close. His friends, family, native city. God, he`s been a fool.   
All he need is right here. He`s just been too arrogant to understand it.

How simple yet so hard. 

-“I love you, man. You`re so fucking great,” Jorel says grasping Dylan`s palm.   
-“I love you too, dude. In whatever state you are,” Dylan squeezes Jorel`s smaller palm in his. 

“_”_”_”_”_”_”_”_”_”_”_”_”

 

-“Promise not to freak out. I need to check something. Just stay still for a second, please,” Dylan has this irresistible look on his face again.  
-“Depends on what`s on your mind, can`t promise,” mischievously winks Jay.  
-“Come on, man. Just for a tiny second,” Dylan`s about to start whining.  
Jay scoffs but turns to Dylan nevertheless nodding his head and saying “Just do this already”. 

The kiss breaks as fast and unexpectedly as it starts. Once it`s here – now it`s over. Jorel even has no time for making some noise of disapproval or surprise. 

-“Oh, crap, no,” Dylan sounds defeated and combs his fingers through hair, slightly pulling.   
-“Do I kiss that bad, sweetheart?” Jorel is too confused to ask something less lame.  
-“It`s about Matt. I kissed him yesterday. And it felt so strange like I kissed a bro,” Dylan says it so quickly Jay almost misses it.  
-“Wait, so you kissed the guy you are crazy about and you didn`t like it? Am I missing something?”  
-“Of course I enjoyed it. A lot, actually,” Dylan`s smile disappears quickly, “But…We are so cool together. And once it comes…well, to actual physical contact…I don`t know. It`s like something is…just freaking wrong. We both want it… I fancy him so much I`m terrified the whole thing will turn out as one night stand as usual,” Dylan is hyperventilating and looks as if he`s about to have a panic attack.  
-“Awww, Dilly. How sweet is this. You`ve never said such stuff before,” Jorel hugs his friend tightly trying to comfort him, “He`s a clever guy and does care about you. All you need is trust. It`s gonna be cool, so calm down and enjoy.”  
-“Hope you`re right, man.”

The next morning Dylan excitedly hops around Jorel`s bed and tries to wake him up.  
-“I`m the best friend in the whole universe! Jorel Decker, wake up, I`ve got something for youuuu,” Dylan pulls the blanket but Jay`s grip on it is tight.  
-“Urgh, Dylan Peter Alvarez, can you please sod off and let your tired friends to catch some sleep?”  
-“No. Way. In. Hell. On this paper I`ve got a little soooomething that`ll change your life, like, dramatically. Get up, man!” beams Dylan.  
-“Will you leave me alone if I see what`s so urgent in this note?”  
-“Maybe. But you`ll be too pumped up to fall back asleep, can tell you for sure,” Dylan gives Jay the note and holds his breath waiting for a reaction.  
It`s an address with a telephone written in someone`s neat handwriting. Not even close to Dylan`s chicken scratch.   
-“And how`s this is supposed to brighten my ruined lazy sleepy morning?”  
-“It`s Danny`s new home and number in Vegas. Aren`t I the freaking best bestie in da world, huh?”  
Jorel freezes.   
It can`t be.   
-“I guess you`re wondering where the hell I got it? Well, Matt and I crashed last night at his new LA home, and you know what? It`s Danny`s old house. Matt says before moving here he found some guy looking for new apartment in Las Vegas. They`ve agreed on just swapping houses. I didn`t pay attention to this story before yesterday. And now… Tell me I`m the awesomest!”  
Jay`s head suddenly feels so heavy. He`s barely breathing and just stares at the letters on the paper. He almost convinced himself he`s okay with letting the past go. But it keeps on haunting him.  
-“What if he`s already found someone?” Jorel finally breaks the silence.  
-“No what ifs, man. Go there. Tell him how you feel. You`re too insecure for such dashing guy. Danny will be an idiot if he stone walls you. And if he does it, well, at least you tried,” Dylan sympathetically smiles and pats Jorel`s naked shoulder.   
-“Thank you, Dilly. And… thank Matt for me. I owe you two now so damn much,” Jorel brightly smiles.   
-“Nah. I`ve been thanking Mattie all night long. And we`ll be even if you use this chance to explain Danny-boy how you feel. Promise?” Dylan lays on Jorel`s bed and cozily wraps in the blanket.  
-“Promise… Hey, so you guys broke that wall of awkwardness then?” Jorel leans on the pillows and ruffles Dylan`s deep brown hair.  
-“Yup. Sort of. He`s a weirdo and I`m a dork. We`re perfect,” Dylan`s eyes are closed already, his lips stretch in satisfied grin.  
They fall asleep again, feeling much more happily than they`ve been for months. 

“_”_”_”_”_”_”_”_”_”_”_”_”

Jay is ready to freak out when he stands on the sidewalk near ex Matt`s and now Danny`s house. Does panic attack have to occur right now after he`s crossed hundreds of miles to get here? Too many what ifs and doubts buzz in Jorel`s head; he`s almost ready to run away – so much he`s terrified.  
But his suddenly turned lead legs bring him right in front of the entrance. Trembling knuckles knocks to the door.  
It`s now or never as cheesy as it sounds.

The door flings open…

-“Oh God, you dyed your hair!”  
-“Uhhm, yeah, yeah, I did,” Danny`s expression is quickly changes from confusion to elation to doubt and back to elation.   
-“Looks cool,” says Jay making Danny slightly blush.  
Danny yanks Jorel into the hall and locks the door. They stare at each other, like they marvel the most beautiful thing on earth.   
-“You`re here…” Danny murmurs and carefully cups Jay`s pale face. His touch is so gentle like he`s afraid that Jorel can disappear any second.  
Jorel silently follows Danny to the guestroom and they sit on the floor, Danny lays his now dyed light-brown head on Jay`s lap.   
They sit like that for nearly half an hour.   
-“You didn`t call or write…” Jorel`s voice sounds more exhausted than hurt.  
-“It`s just… I`ve been running. Don`t know from what. Even just hearing your voice…I`d have broken down. I `ve been convincing myself I don’t miss my previous life. And I managed to do it. Except for one thing,” Danny gets up and goes to the window looking outside. “I`ve been missing you like hell. To dull the hurt I`ve been writing songs. I`ve been writing and writing and writing until one day I got that I…” Danny sniffs and leans his back closer to Jorel`s chest who came closer and now stands behind. Jay wraps his hands around Danny`s waist and lightly brushes lips against the back of Danny`s neck.   
-“…love you,” Jay whispers nuzzling the back of the neck.  
Danny faces Jay, his skin glows in the moonlight and tears flow down his cheeks.   
-“I`m so sorry Jay…”  
-“It`s okay, I understand.”  
-“But you don`t know what`s that for.”  
Jorel chuckles. “I do know. It`s fine now.”  
Danny still looks unsure but makes himself smile.

Later on Jay falls asleep in Danny`s arms, the emotional and physical exhaustion has worn him off completely. Last thing he remembers before drifting off is Danny`s warm quiet voice singing some song about unbelieving that something good inside`s left.

The melody and lyrics keep on playing in Jorel`s mind when he`s en route back to LA. He thinks how to properly thank Dylan for this trip. The visit to Las Vegas opened Jay`s eyes, he needed it so damn much. 

Yes, he confessed to Danny.   
Yes, Danny didn`t deny him neither did he accepted his feelings. “There`s a girl out there. Her name`s Theresa. I kind of have feelings towards her…”  
Jorel realized how stupid it was – overthinking about something that wasn`t there all the time. He just linked his comfort from hurt and loneliness with Danny. It`s not love. Affection more likely.   
No, Jorel doesn`t feel even a bit heartbroken. He feels truly happy. The ball of emotions inside has finally dissolved.  
He`s free now. 

Hey, maybe when he returns to Los Angeles he should give a try to that gorgeous girl from the shop. What`s her name? Vanessa maybe. He`ll think about it later.

 

Hell yes, Dylan is indeed the best friend any person can imagine; he insisted on Jorel to go Vegas and by that he gave him freedom from his own stupid thoughts. 

Pretty funny, isn`t it?

**Author's Note:**

> No happy ending I guess. Danny and Jay aren`t together after all. I rewrote the final episodes and the ending still sucks. But I`m glad it`s over. Was fun to write this fic though.   
> Thank you for reading. You`re awesome. Hope you liked this one! Let me know what you think, cupcakes :3


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